ABOUT US

Zombie RX will not actually reanimate your corpse. You’d already have to be dead for that to happen.

Our premium coffee beans, formulated by rogue scientists currently under supervised employment in the RX Lab, will absolutely murder your lazy, procrastination-tainted existence. After leaving your former self dismembered on the side of the road where it belongs, these savage beans will actually donate a portion of the proceeds to support veterans and their families.

Our long-term plan is to infect the entire population and establish a shadow government run exclusively by Zombie RX. This will allow us to begin more effectively harvesting the souls of the human race for our second wave of products promising everlasting life.

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves.
What’s your story?

CONTACT

NOT FDA APPROVED.

THEY WEREN'T INVITED.

DEATH BY CHOCOLATE HAZEL'S WAKE

AT LEAST YOU'LL DIE CAFFEINATED

CHERRY MORTUARY CARAMEL CARNAGE

WE DIDN'T COME THIS FAR TO BE GENTLE

REST IN ZEST BURIED DEEP

DEATH NEVER

TASTED SO SWEET

COCOA COFFIN BLOOM DOOM

WAKE THE DEAD

XXX ANTIDOTE DEADWOOD DECAF

ZRX ARMORY

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Snake Wake Tee
Snake Wake Tee
$40.00
The Boring Tee
The Boring Tee
$35.00
Dead Man's Hoodie
Dead Man's Hoodie
$75.00
Dead Man's Tee
Dead Man's Tee
$40.00
Zombie Tumbler (20 OZ)
Zombie Tumbler (20 OZ)
$40.00
Grave Robber Mug (12 OZ)
Grave Robber Mug (12 OZ)
$30.00
Decadent Evil Tee
Decadent Evil Tee
$40.00
VIEW ALL

MEET THE SCIENTISTS

[REDACTED] - "THE ARCHITECT"

Chief Science Officer, RX Lab

  • Previously employed by a covert government agency. Details unavailable
  • Left (escaped) under circumstances that remain classified in four countries and one territory that technically doesn't exist
  • Holds six advanced degrees, two of which are in fields he invented
  • Has not slept since 2011 and considers this an achievement
  • Once dissolved an entire research department with a single email
  • Communicates exclusively in declarative statements
  • Enjoys rainy days and scrapbooking 
[REDACTED] - "DOC HOLLOW"

Director, Cognitive Advancements Division

  • Credentials sourced from three institutions. None acknowledge him
  • Abruptly left the same week three servers were wiped and one building was condemned
  • His entire department floor has needed deep-cleaning four times this week. No one's asked why
  • Speaks to his samples
  • Not a man you want to disappoint
  • Enjoys going to the surface undercover to "people watch”
[REDACTED] - "SERGEANT SURGE"

Director, Subject Testing Division

  • Military background, specific branch undisclosed
  • Recruited by The Architect through channels that were deleted immediately after
  • The last three subordinates who questioned his methods were "let go"
  • Nobody briefs Sergeant Surge. Sergeant Surge briefs himself
  • Has never once hit snooze
  • Enjoys cigars and challenging everyone in the lab to a game of poker
[REDACTED] - "THE EXTRACTOR"

Director,  Extraction & Formulation Division

  • Spent two decades perfecting a process the industry claimed was already perfect. The industry was incorrect
  • "Retired" from his last position the same night the facility's security footage was compromised. No connection has been established
  • Once rejected an entire shipment because he "didn't like how it arrived”
  • The only individual who has made The Architect uncomfortable
  • DO NOT touch his equipment
  • Enjoys romance novels and hot tea